WHY BEING ALONE ISN'T ACTUALLY SO SCARY!

oh how frightening it might be to end a relationship, travel on your own or move out from your parents house and realise I'M ALONE.
Not lonely, though. We are more connected now than ever before and can't go on one day without getting a notification on your phone from your bestie sending you a funny meme; and family, no matter how far, are one phone call away. So no, we are definitely never lonely.



I'm talking about just being on your own, suddenly (or not so suddenly) realising you need to stand on your own two feet and take care of your ass BY YOURSELF! And that's definitely a good thing, it means you're growing and will definitely face some challenges that will shape you into an awesome human being. trust me!

I have always been that odd one who enjoyed their own company, sometimes even more than being amongst a bunch of people who aren't really your people (please tell me you know what I mean by that!). Even as a kid, the world-famour "GO TO YOUR ROOM" didn't seem like a punishment at all! I had and still have a strong imagination to keep myself occupied.

I'm pretty sure the fact I'm the only child plays a massive part in me being more of a loner. Having no siblings (or not even cousins my age) on trips to the country side or having no one to play with after coming home from nursery has definitely made my creativity run wild even up until this day.
For me the word ALONE seems completely normal and I could even say its somewhat my comfort zone as it allows me to think more clearly and have no distractions.

However, not everyone is like that, and even I found my ground shaking beneath my feet once I moved away from home and everyone I knew. Crazy how simply changing your surroundings and knowing your parents aren't in the same house as you anymore, is truly terrifying!!

Here are some tips on getting over that fear of being alone:

1. Yes, you will definitely have to go though the period of feeling scared and possibly wanting to quit whatever you started! Somehow going to a rehab seems like the perfect example (not that I truly know what goes on in a rehab) - it kind of gets worst before it gets better. I know this because I moved countries to study when I was 18, I had never been away from home for more than 2 weeks. All of a sudden I was all alone in a new place, scared to the bone and wanting to go home asap.

and that leads me to my second point..

2. find distractions and do things you enjoy the most. Just before curling my own tail and running, I found exploring my new home a great distraction. I would walk for hours everyday trying to familiarise myself with the surroundings, taking pictures of the beauty around me. Even shopping was a great adventure just because the shops seemed so different and cool from what I was used to at home. It's funny how Wilko became my favourite place with all the cute Christmas decorations and stationery (I love stationery shops!).

3. It's the perfect opportunity to get busy! I couldn't possibly have done half of the things I have if I didn't have some alone time. I have found inspiration on my walks, I have gone to the library (and I'm talking about university times) a few more times than I would have if I was pre-occupied with other things. I have found love for mandalas and meditation. It's like being alone and truly accepting that time as a gift rather than a negative experience, you can discover a lot of new not just about yourself but also find new hobbies and interests that will take up your time and you will never really feel alone!

4. Don't focus on it. Just don't think about it, clear your head and live as you would normally. Don't think oh my I'm alone, what could I do.. It will most definitely make it much harder to cope. It's similar to being on the tube - if you get a seat and get to relax your feet, you find your mind wondering elsewhere and thinking about what to have for dinner instead of those loooong journeeeys standing up the whole way and counting the stops.

5. Curate your thoughts and work with yourself. Just like dieting doesn't work long term, you will find that to really and truly eliminate the fear of being alone is to work with your thoughts. You are in control over your life, your choices, your thoughts and fears - SO BE IN CONTROL. It takes some time but it will be worth it!

Of course, we all need that balance in life. You cannot be completely happy being alone 24/7 but always looking for a buzzing company just because of a fear of being alone isn't a healthy path either.  What I'm saying is don't drown yourself in a bad company and cheap booze when you can be your own best friend!

Talk to you soon!